Okay guys and gals, I know it’s been a couple of weeks since I’ve posted, and it’s not because I haven’t wanted to. I want to get real just for a second. When I started this blog in 2018, I wanted to build a positive, inviting environment where you can get some soul stirring content.
I hope I’m staying true to that vision so far. This post is not going to be so positive. There are some things I’d like to address that unfortunately all of us have had to deal with in our lives. HATERS. Yes, haters, bottom feeders, naysayers. Whatever word you use to describe them, we all have them.
I remember sitting in church in my hometown one morning several years ago. The pastor did a sermon I felt was tailor made for me. He said there are people in your life that ride on your back causing you pain. They don’t want to lift and elevate you. They want to ride on your back until it breaks. He said you should unstrap those people and let them fall. I will never forget that. I’ve still held onto it over the years.
One of the most frustrating things I’ve had to learn to do is look the other way when I’ve come across people that don’t want good for me. These people have disguised themselves very well. They’ve sung my praises in front of my face, but bashed me behind my back. They’ve stirred the pot. They’ve spread rumors and lies just to make themselves feel better. If you have family or friends like this, don’t feel alone. You’re among people who go through the same thing.
When people try to break your spirit, or dim your light, it’s because they need you more than you need them. You may have intelligence or talent they don’t have. You may be highly skilled at something, and instead of using you as an example, they hate on you. Sadly, it doesn’t get better as you get older. The older people get, the more things they acquire, so the competition gets tight. Life becomes about the career, family, and material possessions. Social media is a big factor. Many people spend a great deal of time portraying a perfect existence, but in reality, their lives may be very different.
When you’re faced with haters, the first thing you may want to do is react by lashing out or retaliating. I’ve had to count to ten HUNDREDS of times over the years when I’ve dealt with my own haters. I’ve gotten much better at not responding. You may want to know why these people want to see your fail, hurt, or damaged. The why might be these people may need to keep you down to promote themselves. You can’t give them that power. When you’re dealing with people that are trying to break you, consider the following before you act.
Your haters are your secret admirers.
I know it sounds insane, but your hater envies you, and wishes they could be more like you. As I mentioned earlier your talent or personality may shine bright. People may not know how to handle it. You may be writing your book, or singing, or crushing your other goals. Your haters may see the “glow up,” but weren’t present for the hard work and determination it took for you to get to where you are. Your haters are really people that want what you have.
Not everyone is going to like you.
We’ve all experienced people that just didn’t like us for no apparent reason. We never wronged them or didn’t anything that would warrant their wrath. When I was little, I couldn’t wait to become an adult. I thought I would be amongst other rational adults that would only not like me if I wronged them in some way. Boy was I wrong. As I’ve gotten older, it has only gotten worse. There are people that hate me, and I’ve never said an unkind word to them, or did anything to hurt them. I’ve grown to just ignore those people. Also, I’ve come to understand the statement: The way people feel about you has nothing to do with you. If you’ve hurt or disrespected someone, you should own it and apologize. If you’ve done nothing to harm these people, the best thing you can do is wish them well and move on.
Don’t let people steal your joy.
There are people that don’t understand we all are here on earth for a very limited amount of time. As I’ve gotten older, I see more and more people are passing away at ages younger than I am. This makes me really consider how precious life is. I turn 40 this year, and I can’t believe how time has flown. Don’t let people who are ignorant to this steal your joy or put a damper on your life. It is not your job to be a doormat or a constant target for these people just because they may be miserable with their own lives. As long as these people don’t try to tamper with your livelihood or your loved ones, keep it moving. The very best revenge is to live your best life and conquer your goals.