BY KENESHA COLLINS SEPTEMBER 1st, 2019
One of the most shocking things I’m finding as I get older is the pool of eligible men is getting smaller and smaller …or is it now? You thought this was going to be a piece complaining about the lack of men right? Wrong! I talk to a lot of single women my age, and they all collectively say the same thing, “There are no good men out there.”
I cringe every time I hear this because I personally think it’s lazy thinking. I ask them women, “Out of 327 million people in the U.S., you can’t find one good single man?”
Women who make generalizations about all men being no good normally hasn’t done the legwork to meet men, or has made poor dating choices. To be fair, a series of bad relationships or a divorce can make meeting men seem like a daunting task. It’s not impossible, it just requires the right approach. Before a woman begins to date she has to be real with herself about what she wants. She has to ask herself, “Do I want to meet someone?” or “Do I still believe in love?”
Many times women disregard men because deep down, they’re not interested in finding someone. Either it could be out of fear or anxiety, or she really might want to be single. Even with all of the progressive changes and feminism in today’s society, some women may feel like an oddball for preferring to be alone. If a woman prefers to be single, she shouldn’t feel ashamed to admit it, nor should she be shamed for it.
But if a woman truly wants to meet men, here are some ideas:
I’m not going to knock online dating because I actually did meet someone online, and we were in a relationship for 2 years. However, I have an issue with free online dating sites. You get what you pay for with free online dating sites. You may find men who are not truthful about their identity, or they may not want a relationship. Online dating sites that require a fee often are more reliable. A man that is going to take the time to pay for a site normally isn’t looking to just play around.
Find a cozy restaurant or lounge, and go have a glass of wine. Choose an occasion when there’s a good chance men will be there such as the Super Bowl or Monday night football. Some lounges host poetry or open mic nights.
Coffee shops give off cool, sexy vibes. Men who frequent coffee shops are normally intellectuals or entrepreneurs. Dress casually classy, take your laptop or a good book. The problem is that it’s harder to meet men because they are normally engrossed in their project or book. If you see a man that intrigues you, make sure he’s not incredibly busy, and go sit at his table. Tell him the coffee shop is crowded, and ask him if he minds if you sit with him.
Dating men at the workplace can be tricky. It can spark unwanted attention from your fellow employees, supervisors, or managers. Also, if you work in the same department, and the relationship doesn’t work out – you’re stuck being around him everyday. But there are opportunities if you work in a large building with multiple businesses.
Places of Worship
If you are a religious person, your preferred place of worship may be a good place to meet men. Places of worship hosts events and talks. Meeting someone with the same religious beliefs elevates some of the issues that couples of different religions face.
Your friends may host game nights, dinners, and cookouts. Ask them to invite their single male friends. You can learn the history of the man your friends set you up with. Also, if you already know him through your friends, it takes the pressure off when breaking the ice.
The following ideas may work for you, but I personally didn’t have much luck:
When I first moved to Nashville, I joined a few groups on Meetup.com. I did meet several nice women, but I didn’t meet men. Some restaurants host several different meetup groups at one venue which can be fun. Although, I didn’t make any love connections, it’s a great way to introduce yourself to a new city.
When I lived in Dallas, TX, my dream was to take Salsa dancing classes. There were some FINE men at these classes, but once again, I didn’t meet anyone. I was more focused on learning the dance moves than meeting anyone.
There are thousands of movies about women meeting losers in nightclubs, but they’re not 100% true. Dancing can bring out your vibrant side, but there are some downsides to meeting men in nightclubs. You have to factor in alcohol when meeting men in these scenes. Also you may not meet a man who is looking for commitment in a nightclub.
These are some ideas that have been proven to work, but the hardest part is getting started. Meeting the right man may not be easy, but the key is to put yourself out there. After a long week of work, eating a pint of ice cream, and watching Netflix may feel like Heaven. But you can’t do this same routine 4 weekends of every month. Buy some nice dresses and heels. Keep your hair, eyebrows, and nails done, and GO OUT.
Kenesha Collins is a freelance writer, blogger, and editor. She has written for Evansville Parent Magazine, The Gleaner, and The Evansville Courier & Press. She has edited for Audience Response Systems, Inc. and WordSmooth. She lives in Nashville, TN. Follow her on Twitterhttps://twitter.com/kenesha_collins.