BY KENESHA COLLINS August 31st, 2019
There are several studies relating better health and happiness to being in relationships. These studies are based on facts, but they are all centered around strong, loving relationships. Just because you are in a relationship doesn’t mean it’s best for you. As people (especially women) reach a certain age, nervous feelings emerge. These feelings of worry this single state is a permanent one. Also, when you’re single, you are forced to live in your head for a while, and deal with your own issues. Sounds scary right? Who would want to live a life like that? Well, despite what you may think, this single state may just be what the doctor ordered. Instead of working yourself up into a frenzy, try embracing the benefits of being single:
1. You can stop settling, and get what you want.
How many times were you in relationships that weren’t fulfilling? You may love to cuddle, but your partner wasn’t affectionate. You are interested in current events and politics, but your partner turned a blind eye to these things. Being in a relationship just to avoid being alone makes you feel alone anyway. Being single enables you to actually date around, and meet a person better suited for a long term connection.
2. You can do something drastic.
It sounds cliche, but life is short, and everyday people are dying at younger ages. Being single frees you to take a vacation to the place you’ve always dreamed of without consulting anyone. Pick the date, and just go. Is moving to New York City on your bucket list? Pack up your things and move. If you’re a person who can’t stay in one place for too long, being single may be right for you.
3. Your appearance is your choice.
The way you look is up to you whether it’s cutting off all of your hair, getting tattoos, or piercings. The single life brings a period of self expression. There are thousands of fashion options, and you can have lots of fun exploring them. You can shave or wax when you feel like it. You don’t have to worry about your partner brushing up against your hairy legs at night.
4. You can focus on your career, or get a side hustle.
People in relationships have to balance their work and home life, and it’s a constant tug and pull. When you’re single, you can strive for your career goals without feeling guilty. Do you like taking photos, writing, or cooking? Being single provides the extra time to pursue those passion projects.
5. You feel sexier.
I’ve gained a lot of weight after developing hyperthyroidism. I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been, but I’ve gotten lots of male attention because the weight went straight to my curves. In my previous relationship, my partner didn’t like heavier women, so the focus on my weight became his focal point. I became very self-conscious, and started comparing myself to other women. When I made these comparisons, it always led to me highlighting something negative about my body or face. Up until that point, I had always felt beautiful and confident. Now that I’m single, I’ve begun to fall in love with myself again. Now, I want to exercise and be healthy for me, and not to avoid negative comments from my partner. Building a loving relationship with yourself sets the tone for all of your future relationships. If your positive body image isn’t reciprocated by your partner, you’ll know that person isn’t the one. Take yourself to dinner and drinks. Go see the movie you’ve been dying to see. Book yourself massages or manicures.
6. You can build emotional and mental stability.
Relationships are work- plain and simple. They need constant attention to build and grow. They have to be nurtured with never-ending communication. Relationships change because the people in them do. People evolve as time goes on. Many relationships don’t survive because of the mental and emotional work they require. Relationships can become mentally and emotionally draining if they take a downward turn into difficulty. When relationships become bad, they can have lasting effects on your psyche.
7. You can take care of your physical health.
The image of single people having nothing to do, but sit at home, and eat poorly is a myth. There are several studies single people work out more, eat better, and have overall healthier lifestyles. Bella DePaulo, a social psychologist, author, and speaker who embraces the single life, and digs deep into the healthy benefits of being single in her article,“4 Reasons Why Being Single Is Better For Your Health.”
Being single isn’t a curse or a punishment. You may find yourself single several times throughout your life. Relationships, romantic or otherwise, come in waves. People are fickle and unreliable. Your time would be better spent nurturing and loving the person you’ll be in a relationship for life – yourself.
Kenesha Collins is a freelance writer, editor, and blogger. She has written and edited for Evansville Parent Magazine, Keep Evansville Beautiful, and WordSmooth. Follow her on Twitter: https://twitter.com/kenesha_collins.